Your Bed of Nails - The Downside of Personal Transformation
Real training. Deep training.The kind that makes you question everything about who you are and why you do the things you do – that stuff - let's do this. People sign up for dessert. They sign up for the positive outcome. They rarely sign up for the bland daily grind, the oats and veg and lean meats and what have you. The stuff that gets results. Last post I mentioned the importance of focusing on the foundations, the essence, and not getting distracted by the fitness or mind-body flavor of the week. What happens when you do this in the personal growth and transformation game, aside from the possible boredom and the internal critic giving you a million reasons not to show up day after day, is you start to see who you really are. And that ain’t always pretty. Consistency reveals flaws. Variety hides them. We’re all pretty complex, like intricate tapestries. And when you expose a tapestry to the same patterns of pressure and use, weaknesses are more readily revealed. And when one strand wears through there is risk of the whole thing unraveling. Look at this dumb kid, lying there like he’s the cat’s meow without a care in the world.
Beds of nails are fascinating things. You lie on one nail, or perhaps a few sporadically placed ones, they puncture you. But something magical happens once you pass a critical mass – you stay afloat uninjured. The risk is distributed and the pressure dispersed. Personal growth and transformation – the real stuff, not the positive affirmation nonsense – exposes you to a similar risk. Consistency in doing meaningful things will begin to reveal character flaws, weaknesses that we all work damn hard to hide, but not fix. We’re late, but we tell ourselves its because of things outside of our control, and not because we don’t respect others as much as we respect ourselves. We skip sessions, but we tell ourselves there are legitimate work/life reasons that supersede…what? Personal health? And we tell ourselves there’s always tomorrow. We hold back, don’t give things our all because, hey, we can’t be “on” all the time. It’s just today. And self-love means self forgiveness. I forgive me for not trying today? And we don’t do the damn work because we “KNOW” the thing. Ya ya, I already know that. Super! Congrats! Are you, um, actually doing it? Cause knowing is about as useful as a turd in the hand. And one abrasion by one the thread is worn thin and the tapestry of self-worth unravels. One nail by one is removed and all of a sudden the bed of delusion that kept us afloat, confident, and feeling like we’re pretty damn good people is stabbing us right in the ass.
We start to see that it’s never just one issue, misstep, or character flaw. We learn that our modus operandi is build atop an elaborate lie that we desperately hope no one else sees, and if we can just get through the day all will be fine. But that moment of unraveling, that moment when the nails cease to support you and your flesh begins to cave in around them - THAT is the moment of transformation - no sooner. This doesn’t guarantee transformation however, many people will cower in fright and weave a more complicated tapestry or reinforce their bed with more nails, the ones less likely to be removed. And this delusion can last a very long time, so long as one’s environment doesn’t threaten their competence. But there are others, the few, who sit with that troubling reveal and they don’t panic. They're tired of hiding. They look in the mirror. And they breathe. They begin to use their daily practice as a tool for reflection and self reveal. They embrace the broken strands and they repair the broken nails. And they do the Real. Deep. Training. The kind that heals, empowers, and liberates. Be that kind!
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